[ do i have to keep on talking til i can’t go on ]

PROOF that two year olds DO listen … sort of.

In my growing frustration that no matter how many times I say something to two year old Anna, it never quite seems to get through, the Lord gave me a strange sort of mercy as I realized that’s not entirely true. It’s a strange mercy because it doesn’t really change anything, but it does make me laugh in the midst of an impossibly frustrating situation. It seems that she does actually hear the things I say to her, but somewhere between the time the words leave my mouth and register in her brain, the wires get crossed and the message is lost in translation.

I have included a few examples. A thing I say to the children daily or at least often, followed by some related response some time later.

Context of original discussion: The children tormenting each other to tears by boasting “I’m the fastest! You are too slow!!”
Me: God hates boasting. Jesus says we need to be kind to each other. The Bible says you need to let your praise come from someone else.
Context of Anna’s application: A discussion about house centipedes.
Anna’s application: God hates creepy crawlies. Jesus says we need to just squash them all. The Bible says that.

Context of original discussion: Anna is being super dramatic and forcing herself to cough. I don’t pretend to know why.
Me: Are you coughing up a lung?
Context of Anna’s application: She is REALLY coughing and sounds like she’s in danger of choking, but is well enough to tell me that she’s not.
Me: Anna, do you have something stuck in your throat?
Anna: Yeah.
Me: What do you think it is?
Anna: My lungs.

Context of original discussion: Any time I make food or dessert for small group or TBI potluck (which is often), Anna helps me. EVERY TIME she asks me if it’s for my friends or my boyfriend. This time, we were making something for small group shortly after my boyfriend and I broke up.
Me: I have to do some cooking today, are you going to help me?
Anna: Is it for your boyfriend?
Me: No.
Anna: Why?
Me: He’s not really my friend anymore.

Context of Anna’s application: Making apple pie for small group yesterday.
Me: I have to do some cooking today, are you going to help me?
Anna: But you don’t have any friends anymore!

Context of original discussion: Every day before her afternoon nap, I sing a song to Anna. Usually it’s either The Gospel Song or Jesus Loves Me. She heard me singing “Jesus Paid It All” while I was doing the dishes the other day and liked it. (Note: she does have a Minnesota accent.)
Me: What would you like to sing today, Anna?
Anna: Jesus peed.

I know that one doesn’t really count. I did try to teach her to say “paid” correctly. Sadly, her Minnesotan roots go so deep that the best she can manage is either “pad” or “peed”.