I love the way that Jesus cares for me. I love that He cares about the things that seem so big to me- like my future and his glory and my holiness (or lackthereof) and persevering me to the end. I love that He cares about providing for me – the right job, meeting my financial needs, giving me gifts and resources and energy and time and love to give away to others. I love that He even cares about the silly, inconsequential things – like this morning, the Trivia question at Caribou (which I have never been able to answer before) was “What does Philadelphia mean?” Growing up in Pennsylvania, I’ve known the answer to that question from elementary school. And I know it came up in Greek class recently. What does that have to do with the Lord showing his love for me in silly inconsequential ways? Because He’s the omniscient and sovereign Lord of all. Because He knew I couldn’t sleep last night and needed coffee to function and didn’t have time to make it this morning. Because He knew I was a bit short on cash and after I got the discount for having the right answer to a silly, inconsequential trivia question, I had just enough. I guess you could say I’m over-spiritualizing a coincidence. But I don’t believe in coincidence. And I don’t believe Christ is going to fault me for thanking him for providing my coffee this morning.
I’m especially thankful that Jesus loves me enough to fill me with the Spirit and overcome my anxiety with his peace that surpasses understanding. I realized this weekend that I have NO IDEA where the Lord is leading me or what He’s calling me to do next with my life. I don’t know that I’m called to be a missionary, sender, college student, wife, mother, single, widow. I don’t have a clue what to do with myself or what to prepare for, hope for, plan for, pray for. But I am completely overcome with His peace, surpassing all understanding, that Christ is in perfect control and He will let me know when the time is right. I think perhaps my favorite thing Cam Riviere ever said to me was “Rest assured that God wants you to know what He wants you to do more than you want to know what He wants you to do.” So.. college decisions, job decisions, singleness, marriage, missions, martyrdom – whatever you want, Lord. That’s what I want. I’ll follow you anywhere. Just say the word.
“Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” – Psalm 73:23-26
Music: Hillsong – “From the Inside Out”