[ I’ve got this habit I abhor ]

My birthday is generally a source of anxiety for me. Perhaps it’s because of a history of tragically, hilariously pathetic birthdays past. Like the year I thought my (ex)boyfriend was throwing me a surprise party, so I turned down a weekend in New York with all my closest friends. Turns out he just forgot. He said sorry, but came to church with me as a consolation prize. (Aside: Ladies, don’t date unbelievers…) Or the year everybody blew me off cause I was sober and loved Jesus and didn’t have any Christian friends. Or the year my only friends had planned something fabulous but got in a huge fight and most of what they’d planned had to be canceled… and I sat waiting by the phone for hours then everything was tense, rushed, and awkward when we finally did get together.

Last year was delightfully mediocre. I went to small group, most people didn’t know it was my birthday. We ate cake and I went home and that was it. It came and went without a hitch. That was nice for a change.

This year, as I hung my 2010 calendar on New Years Day, I saw the 15th looming like a big black rain cloud. I was tempted to just cross it off entirely and ignore that there even was such a day in January, much the same as some old hotels and skyscrapers neglect to include a 13th floor in their building. But then, I remembered…

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11

Matt and Johanna tell me I have a bad habit of “forecasting grief”, and I’m sad to admit they’re right. So I resolved before the Lord not to do that for my 23rd birthday. I’m glad I did – because I’m convinced I have the best friends on the planet and I know they’ve already got something in the works. So here’s to looking forward to a good birthday with my favorite Minnesotans.

Music: DCFC- “A Diamond and a Tether”

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6 thoughts on “[ I’ve got this habit I abhor ]

  1. Really, with a history like that, anything short of mildly traumatic will contend for the title of “best birthday ever”. ;)

    Honestly, I’m just happy to have good friends to spend it with. Hope you can make it! LW!

  2. since i’m lame and don’t live in the artic circle i’m praying from a distance that 23 is a good one for you :)

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