This one was tricky. I’ve really been battling a lot of jealousy and discontentment lately, and I felt it coming on again this evening. I could have cried or been angry, I could have chosen wistful day-dreaming indulgence, I could have chosen to write something really snarky to post on any given social media website. Instead, I wrote this. Forgive me if I sound like that teenage goth girl in the back of your high school English class. I’m always afraid of that when I write poetry.
They come upon me, slow and sudden,
Like adders in the grass.
Without warning, just a soundless strike that cuts like broken glass.
I feel the venom coursing through me, stealing joy and life,
Feel it ebb and watch it spread—is there an end to all my strife?
There’s nothing new under the sun, is all my toil in vain?
Nurse the wound and curse the closest thing around to blame.
Jealousy and Malcontent – I know no greater foes,
Countless battles lost and won, but the war is not my own.
This weary, weathered body knows with heart as well as head;
Ere the respite there are many miles which must and shall be tread.
But long before the trials I now face had been ordained,
Were promises and prophecies, of the coming Savior King;
Who opens blinded eyes, and sets the captives free,
And crushes heads of serpents that would devour me.
Never hopeless, never helpless,
Never lost and ne’er forsaken.
Jesus reigns victorious and I will not be shaken.