Four.

Four months. Whew. This third month has been a rollercoaster.

He’s better!!
He’s worse…
He’s better!!
He’s worse…

So it goes.

I’ve read things about a four month regression, but apparently my son felt the need to jump the gun on that. Hopefully this doesn’t mean he’ll do it again this month.. or keep doing it for another month. Uggghhh. It’s a good thing he’s so stinking cute.

162/365

mosey-1

Rollercoastery things include no longer sleeping through the night (-.-), no longer having the ability to self-soothe without the use of gripe water and a pacifier, and (you guessed it) more nursing issues!

I swear, the next person that asks me if I just loooooove breastfeeding gets a high five… in the face.

I guess the biggest thing this month is that we’ve learned Moses has silent reflux. Yeah, it’s as awesome as it sounds. Basically, this means he has a lot of stomach acid and gas pain and they interfere with feedings. It also means he’s spent a lot of time crying inconsolably. Ergo, so have I. He’s now on Prilosec and exclusively formula fed.

That’s right. Devil dust. The expensive kind too. Turns out, for Moses, breast is not best. In fact he does far better with an anti-colic bottle and fancy shmancy partially broken down, hypoallergenic formula than he ever did with breastmilk. And while there’s a part of me that’s sad that I never really got to experience “the magic” of breastfeeding, I’m really okay with it. And there is no one on the face of this planet that can dare suggest that I gave up too soon or didn’t try hard enough or didn’t do absolutely everything I possibly could to make it work. It just didn’t. I’ve learned that what matters most is that your kid has a happy, full tummy– not so much if it’s full of breastmilk or formula. Or rice cereal. Or applesauce.

163/365

mose-2

A clue: I’m still very hormonal and emotional. Unless you’re feeling the need for a free avant-garde nose job, I suggest that all hardcore breastfeeding fanatics should exercise restraint here. There’s one Gospel. Breastfeeding has nothing to do with it. Mothering is hard enough as it is. And that’s all I have to say on the subject.

At four months, baby Moses…

mosey-2

– weighs over 16 lbs

– wears 6 month clothing.

– is trying so hard to roll from back to front. Any day now.

– still hates tummy time. Probably because of the reflux.

– loves his feet. Usually just one at a time though, he’s usually gnawing on one hand while the other is grabbing his toes.

– pretty much always wants to be held and bounced on a big purple exercise ball in our living room in front of the TV. Doesn’t matter if it’s actually turned on or not. Reflections on the screen are just as entertaining as any program .

–  has super fast growing finger nails. Hates having them trimmed. Screams bloody murder as soon as I start. But likes to scratch the mess out of his face if I don’t. Soooo…

– is getting better at grasping. Favorite items include linky rings, burp rags, and Mama’s hair.

– loves the Moby Wrap and his stroller. Can’t waaaaait til the weather is nice enough to maximize these tools outdoors.

– loooooooooves his Daddy.

165/365

mo-4

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4 thoughts on “Four.

  1. Katie, you are an excellent mother. It’s so true that we as mothers have all these expectations of what it should be like (for me, vaginal delivery) then we get something else (I.e. C-section, breech, reflux, etc). And yes, other mothers may not even say anything and yet you can still feel judged. Or they may try to “help” and give you all sorts of advice. I’m glad you’re listening to your doctor and that you have tried different options. You are doing what’s right for Moses, and that’s what matters. Love you!

  2. Katie,
    You won’t hear any criticism coming here.You made a decision based on what was best for Moses. Isn’t that what a good parent would do? I see far to many moms struggling to enjoy their baby because things didn’t go as their preconceived image of childbirth, nursing, etc. I remember going to a peds visit with Scott dreading telling him that I was still supplementing with formula( you know I should have been just nursing was the pressure I felt). His response-” Is he happy, are you happy….so what’s the issue.” He told us we had to do what was the best for us.So that is what I say to you- do what is best for Moses -that is what makes a good mom. Joy

  3. Bravo Mama! I’m glad to see you pushing back against any who would try to persuade you to fear-of-man in regard to raising |feeding| YOUR child.I so desperately didn’t enjoy breastfeeding the first time around. My fight was for reasons different than yours and my outcome was different as well, but I vowed then that I would NEVER jump to a conclusion about what was best (breast or formula or a mix) for someone else’s baby. I’m so sorry that it’s been so difficult, but I’m thankful for the grace of a formula that will help sweet baby Moses be a happier baby, resulting in a happier mommy. Oh goodness, he is QUITE CUTE!

  4. Way to put into words all the crazy swirling thoughts and emotions that come with this experience! It’s so intense. Your persistence and wisdom are admirable and you are a great mom Katie! I wish I could’ve read this blog the first time around with Gwen. And it’s just nice to hear that someone else who tried really really hard never got to the “magic” part either. Isn’t motherhood the biggest school of perseverance and faith ever?

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