WIW: Week 45

Boring things happening on the scale this week, folks. And by that I mean it didn’t go up or down this week. But I’m not surprised. I did a lot of “creative tracking” so it’s time to get back to it!

Buuuuut let’s talk for a minute about all the non-scale victories I’ve got going on right now. Cause there’s a lot of them. And THIS, I’ve learned, is where I see real change and notable progress happening in my life.

The Curious Tale of the Seemingly Arbitrary Fitbit Sizing

I bought a Fitbit last year. Technically, I bought several Fitbits last year. I had some trouble finding the right fit for me– both literally and figuratively. I started out with a size small Flex– which turned out to be too small. So I got a large. And then I decided I wanted more accurate tracking so I upgraded to a ChargeHR size large. It’s been too big for a long time, but I would have been REALLY embarrassed if I had to take it back only to find that the small was too small. (Stuck between sizes is the WORST!!!) So I’ve been living with it. But as I lose weight, the strap has to go even tighter and now it’s to the point where the tip of the watch band snags on my clothes and sticks out and is generally annoying. Also, got tired of NOT being able to see my first (and probably favorite) tattoo. So I “downgraded” to the Alta. I asked to try it on in store this time. He swore it was a large and he didn’t have a small that was open so I couldn’t try that. So I tried it on and it fit perfectly and generally looks prettier and leaves my tattoo visible once more. (It’s the small things, right?) Guess what– IT’S A SMALL, Y’ALL!!! Arbitrary though the sizing may be– watch me (or Sophie Turner) do my white girl victory dance.

The Incident of the Unmentionables

Sooo as I’ve said MANY times of late– basically every item of clothing I own is either too big or too small. Including my unmentionables. So I went to the unmentionable store and not only did I fit into a smaller size, I actually liked the way my body looked in them. HUGE deal for me. Massive. Like I seriously can’t believe it happened. I took pictures in the fitting room! And I’m smiling in them! I’m not going to post them (obvs), but I had to do something to mark this monumental occasion. (Besides my aforementioned white girl victory dance.)

All the Small Things

I set some achievable goals this month to drink more water, do more yoga, and be present. And I’m doing all of those things. The third one is harder, but I’m working on it. And it has nothing to do with the scale and everything to do with pouring myself more fully into the people I love when I’m with them rather than checking out or being lazy. I’m learning that by setting a goal like “drink more water” rather than “drink eight glasses of water every single day”– I’m setting myself up to succeed and feel empowered by seeing how much water I can drink in a day (ie: “Wow, how many times have I refilled this tumbler?! I lost count! Awesome!”) rather than setting myself on a trajectory that’s going to lead to a shame spiral. ie: “DID I DRINK ENOUGH WATER TODAY?!?! I can’t remember if I tracked this! NOOOOOO!!!”

(My inner dialogue really is that dramatic. Sometimes. Chalk it up to being a theatre kid, I guess.)

I’m learning that in my goal setting, I have to leave room for reality. Because as I am setting these wonderful, healthy goals for myself and striving to achieve them– my life is happening. And it isn’t going to slow down or get easier just because I said I’d do yoga every day. And in reality– drinking more water is better than drinking less. And even if I only do yoga 5 times this month, that’s more than I did last month. And changes for the better, no matter how small, are still changes for the better. And I trust that my body will thank me for it in its own time and way.

Just sowing and reaping.