Week Five Weigh-in

This week was a tough one, to say the least.  This week marked one year since we lost my dear, much beloved father-in-law to stage 4 glioblastoma.  And I basically ate my way through my emotions all week long.  I tried, guys.  I really did.  I tried to track, I tried to care, to not completely throw it all out the window.  I tried to be active, tried to want to be active.  And there were some victories.

I guess a good way to summarize this week is “not as much as I expected”.  Did I meet my activity goal?  Yes, but not as much as I expected.  Did I track?  Yes, but not as much as I expected.  Did I stop caring and eat indulgently and mindlessly?  Yes, but not as much as I expected.  Did the scale go up?  Yes, but not as much as I expected.

And you know, I’m okay with all of that.  I got through it.

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The Numbers:  Up, but (say it with me now) not as much as I expected.  And I’m going to call that a victory.  Especially because I strongly considered not weighing in this week.  And there may be some weeks that I choose to do that, but I was getting pretty lazy with my tracking and caring and I think I really needed to see the scale go up.  I’m also glad I did it because I expected it to be worse and to go through the emotional self-flagellation I seem to always need to get over a gain.  But I didn’t.  And that’s huge progress for me.

Non-Scale Victories:  I’ve been trying to look at my weight loss journey this time as math.  Numerical, scientific data.  (Side note: I hate math.  I’m not good at it and I find literally nothing less interesting.)  The perks of this are that it takes the emotional component out of the choices and out of the numbers on the scale.  I’m still experimenting with it.  And it’s all new to me.  And it’s working for me.  Also, I did accomplish quite a bit of work in my yard and I think that did help with the not-so-bad weight gain.

This Week’s Goal:  Track everything every day this week.  I really need to quit being lazy about this.

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